Her Dream Man Has These 10 Qualities

Prince Charming isn’t just for fairy tales.

by James Michael Sama

eing the man of her dreams isn’t about what you look like or how much money you have. It’s about the dignity, integrity, and character that you develop in yourself over the years.

It’s about the morals and values that you hold.

It’s about how you treat her, yourself, and those around you.

Here are 10 qualities that she’s looking for in “Mr. Right” (in no particular order).

1: He is emotionally present.

Do you think any little girl dreams of once meeting a man who is emotionally distant and disconnected?

Obviously not.

They also don’t dream of meeting a man who is overly emotional and cries at every Hallmark commercial.

Presence and balance is the key here. Understanding and acknowledging your emotions as a human animal, and being willing to connect them with hers.

That emotional bond and connection is what creates a true sense of intimacy in a relationship and helps to build a foundation that lasts over time.

Of course, I fully understand that we all take unique emotional journeys over our lives and some of us become jaded, discouraged, or closed off in order to avoid pain.

The problem with putting up walls to keep out the pain, though, is that you also might keep out love and joy.

Being emotionally present is an integral part of being a fantastic romantic partner. Without real connection, nothing else matters.

2: He takes responsibility.

Whether it is in his relationship or in his own life, no man worth his salt will avoid responsibility for himself or his actions.

Personal responsibility for one’s self is what separates the men from the boys. Those who have grown up from those who are just pretending.

A man who takes responsibility is a man who can be trusted. He can be relied upon, and counted on.

He is the one who stands up when there is a problem and strives to fix it. He’s the one who admits when he’s wrong and works to be better. He’s the one who sees his own faults and weaknesses and puts in the work to overcome them.

Men who avoid responsibility in their own lives will avoid it just about everywhere else, too. No self-respecting woman with standards will be able to build a relationship (or a life) with someone like that.

3: He’s attracted to her strength, not intimidated by it.

Nobody, man or woman, should ever have to dilute themselves in order to attract someone.

They shouldn’t have to dilute their personality, their strength, their passions, their sense of confidence…

Healthy love encourages you to be more like yourself, not less.

Women are an increasingly strong force in all areas of life and, as a result, I often hear from female clients that men shy away from them or become less interested.

I believe that men are often confused about where they can bring value to someone’s life if she makes more money than him or is better educated than him.

The truth is that she’s not trying to overpower you with her strength, she’s trying to match yours so you can create harmony together as a team.

There is nothing better than having someone by your side who you’re excited to take on the world with. A teammate, a confidant, an equal.

You can only find that person when you embrace their strengths. Not when you shy away from them.

4: He knows where he’s going.

Inlife, that is.

It’s difficult to envision a future with someone who hasn’t envisioned a future for themselves.

Having a clear vision for where you want your life to go is the foundation of every decision you make on a daily basis.

If it brings you closer to your goals, you do it.

If it doesn’t, you don’t.

This type of certainty in your actions is highly attractive to a woman who’s seeking a man that has his shit together.

It’s also a great way to create a productive and fulfilling life regardless of your relationship status.

Not only that — it sends the message that you’re driven and independent on your own, and that you won’t sacrifice your passions or identity when you get into a relationship. This happens all too often and creates an environment of dependency, boredom, and resentment. Not exactly a “dream” relationship.

5: He is attentive to her needs.

We all have needs as human beings — some will be more important than others, but we should strive to pay attention to all of those that our partner has.

Does she need to be held closely after a long day, or given space?

Is she overwhelmed and need something picked up at the store?

Is her mother’s birthday coming up and you told her you’d help plan the party?

Being attentive is an active trait. It requires you to step up and take action in order to fulfill a need or acknowledge a desire.

Nobody wants to be in a relationship where their partner overlooks the things that are important to them.

6: He keeps his word.

Honor. Dignity. Integrity.

All of these traits are deeply rooted in one thing: Honesty.

A dishonest man cannot be counted on, or relied upon, or fully respected.

And when these are lacking, love will be lacking.

Love must grow in a field of mutual respect, honesty, and trust.

The fertilizer that supports their growth is showing up consistently for each other. That means keeping your word when you say you’re going to do something, even if you’re no longer in the mood to do it.

Her “dream man” won’t just keep his word to her, he’ll also keep it to himself.

This is shown in how he lives his own life, how he interacts with friends, family, and people he doesn’t even know — and how he treats himself mentally and physically.

7: He makes her feel safe.

You don’t need to be a strapping Tarzan or a professional bodyguard to make her feel safe — you just need to be there for her.

Safety isn’t just physical, but also emotional. Feeling emotionally safe allows her to open up in a relationship and truly reveal herself to you in all ways.

It allows a bond and a foundation to form by walls being torn down and bridges of communication being built in their place.

I have said a million times that a woman feeling safe with a man is one of the most important feelings she can have. If the emotional and physical safety isn’t present, then nothing else will be able to thrive, either.

8: He is present.

I can’t wait to meet a man who is always super distracted by his phone, and who prioritizes his friends and his work over me.

…said no woman ever.

We all have a lot going on in our lives. Work, bills, obligations, kids, family, school, hobbies, friends…

This is why it’s so important to be fully present with your partner regularly. Whether you need to put it in your calendar, plan regular date nights, or take days off to spend together — make sure you are fully present in the moment. That shows her you truly care.

9: He inspires her.

I believe that we should all be inspired by our partner.

If we’re not, why are we with them?

I look at Rachel every day and watch how she raises the kids, how she works her ass off 24/7, how she cares for everyone before herself, and how she has overcome some of life’s most grueling challenges when any mere mortal would’ve given up…and I am inspired by her.

She makes me want to be better, and any woman’s dream man will do the same for her through his actions.

10: He maintains his identity and purpose.

Through it all, one thing must remain steadfast: Her “Dream man” stays her dream man.

He does not sacrifice his dreams or passions for the sake of the relationship, for those are some of the very things that she fell for in the first place.

He does not let himself go — mentally or physically — for he takes pride in his health.

He does not stop being romantic, for he understands the same effort that “got” the relationship is required to maintain the relationship.

He keeps his passions, interests, friends, and strives for his goals — for living a full life is a highly desirable trait.

He does not change himself just to be her “dream man.” His actions are authentic. His personality is genuine. When he does things for her, it comes from the heart.

Nothing he does is an act just to win her over — it works, and is consistent, because it is truly the man he has worked to become.

He knows he doesn’t need to be perfect to be her dream man, he just needs to be the man he is proud to be.

#Relationships, #DateNight, #HelpfulTips, #MentalHealth, #Dating, #Advice, #Medium

Story Citation

Published by VintageDava

Follow me on Twitter at #Davagirl

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